It’s never too late to start over.
Starting over or “secondary virginity” is a decision to abstain from sex until you get married. Whether you gave sex away or it was stolen from you, you can always start again. Secondary virginity is about second chances. It’s never too late to make a fresh start.
Steps to Success
COMMIT: Make the commitment to yourself and your future partner to wait for marriage. Write it down as a reminder of your promise, or get something like a purity ring or pledge card to symbolize your commitment.
COMMUNICATE: Tell someone about your decision. Tell a trusted friend or family member about your decision. Ask them for support by holding you accountable.
CHANGES: Get away from people, places, and situations that put pressure on you and weaken your self-control. And if you’re in a sexual relationship, you may need to take some time away, or possibly break up.
CAUTION: Be aware that the urge to have sex may still be there, but you don’t have to act on that urge. Prepare yourself in advance that the feelings may come. It may not be easy, but it’s worth waiting for!
Benefits for waiting to engage in
• No worries of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease.
• No emotional risk – sex bonds you to another person for life.
• No unplanned pregnancies.
• Lower chance for damaged relationships.
Abstinence does not happen by accident, it happens on purpose.
• Date and hang out with like-minded people.
• Look for friends instead of serious relationships.
• Become friends before going out.
• Have boundaries and stick with them.
• Have planned activities and stick with them.
• Dress attractively, not seductively.
• Keep your clothes on, all the way-all the time.
• Don’t lie down with your date.
• Stay in groups.
• Don’t stay in a house without adult supervision.
• Set a reasonable curfew for yourself if you don’t already have one.
• Avoid movies with strong sexual content.
• Know how and when to leave a situation.
• Carry money or a phone to call someone for help.
• Make eye contact before refusing.
• Tell your date your standards.
• Make sure your parents meet everyone you date.
• Always let your parents know where you are going.
• Avoid being alone with your date.
• Stay away from drugs and alcohol.
• Date people your own age, or near your age.
• Never try to prove your love with physical involvement.
• If you’ve made past mistakes, forgive yourself and start fresh.
• Be proud of your stand to be sexually pure.
Remember: Abstinence does not happen by accident, it happens on purpose.
You are worth the Wait!
YOUR LIFE, YOUR HEALTH, YOUR PRIVACY AND WELL-BEING ARE OUR BIGGEST CONCERNS.
Our goal is to serve you with compassion, listen to your concerns and provide you with accurate information.
This information is intended for general educational purposes only
and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional medical advice.
Life Choices of Central Michigan does not refer nor provide abortions.
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